Dreams of Love
by KikiTwinTai
Summary: Tomoyo has many secrets. Some she shares with others, and some she keeps to herself. Oneshot.


A Different Type of Love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the works of CLAMP, nor do I get anything from writing this.

Tomoyo Daidouji has many secrets. Some she has learnt by sharing, such as Sakura's activities as a Card Captor. Some she has learnt by guessing, such as the truth of their teacher's link to the Cards. Some she has learnt by accident, some she has been told. Some are safe, harmless, and she keeps them with a laugh and a smile, to tell when the time is right. Some she keeps with worry, others she forgets. But there is one secret above all else that she will never reveal. And that secret is entirely her own.

Tomoyo is in love. The object of her love is kind, sweet, funny, easily angered and shy, but quick to forgive as well. Her name is Sakura Kinomoto, and she has been Tomoyo's best friend for as long as either of them can remember.

She is also her cousin. They learn this on the day of their 4th grade sports day, from Touya, of all people. Tomoyo wonders why he chose to keep this to himself all these years, but then she and Sakura overhear Sonomi talking to Fujitaka, sobbing in his arms. Tomoyo listens as her mother confesses to him, the words standing out sharply through her tears.

 _She loved you too._

 _Yes, but not the way I wanted her to._

Suddenly, so many things become clear. Why Tomoyo doesn't know her father, or even who he is, why her mother has never dated, why she sometimes hears her crying in her room after Sakura has left from a play-date. Why Tomoyo is given everything she asks for, and many things she doesn't. Why her mother never lets her cut her long, dark hair, and who the Nadeshiko she compares her to actually is.

When she remarks on it to Sakura, the girl is as cluelessly oblivious as usual. Tomoyo feels a rush of solidarity towards her mother, and the same overwhelming sadness.

 _I think we're talking about different types of love._

Sakura catches her words, and Tomoyo promises to tell her when they are older.

Then a new student appears, and Tomoyo realises that just like her mother, their love will never be. Shaoran is crude, often angry, shy, easily jealous (particularly with Yukito) and just as painfully dense when it comes to love as Sakura. Despite this, Tomoyo can see that they are destined to be together. Soon after she learns that he too knows about the Clow Cards, she learns another secret.

She has always known that there is far more than this world, if you know where to look. There are things in the world that cannot be explained. The Clow Cards are one, obviously. The shop near their school, that no-one else can see, is another. Touya knows about it, and so does Yukito, and his friend Doumeki from the archery club. They have another friend who works there, Watanuki, who has the same birthday as Sakura and Shaoran. She hasn't seen him in a long time, and she thinks he lives at the shop now.

Another is the drug store that Touya and Yukito work at sometimes, when the other two workers are away. There is something strange about the owners, the softly-spoken blond and the tall one with dark hair who hides his eyes with sunglasses. She isn't sure what, but she knows that Touya can sense it too. He has always been able to see things that other people can't. Maybe it's something in their shared blood. It would explain a lot.

But the greatest secret is her dreams. Tomoyo has often dreamt of other girls who look the same as her, and soon, she learns the reason why. There are many worlds, and many versions of her. One wears long robes and an elaborate headpiece to hold back her long, dark hair, and is called Princess. Another lives in a world very similar to her own, covered with a logo bearing an image of a creature that looks identical to Keroberos, the guardian of the Clow Cards.

She knows that this is all connected, although she is not sure how. Until the other versions of her speak to her in her dreams, giving her a name. _Dream seer_.

As well as herself, she sees other versions of the people she knows. In one world, Sakura is a princess, Shaoran by her side. Sakura is dressed in a white shirt edged in pink, and trousers of the same material covered by a long skirt. Shaoran wears a tight fitting sleeveless vest and baggy brown pants, goggles around his neck and a cloak swept across his shoulders. She sees through her dreams as they travel through worlds, meeting different versions of the people around her. She has never seen the two that travel with them, the gruff black-clad ninja with fierce red eyes and the flighty blond wizard, nor the white creature that seems to be the same things as the one Watanuki used to bring to school sometimes. One thing that strikes her is that there is always a version of Touya and Yukito in every world they go to, although she rarely sees herself, and never Sakura and Shaoran.

Until they travel to the world with the version of Tomoyo called Princess. There, she sees in her dreams that Sakura and Shaoran are merely clones, versions of themselves created for the scheme of someone she hopes she never meets. Suddenly, Tomoyo wishes that she had never learnt any of this. She fears for her own Sakura, that they will be caught up in this dreadful scheme. When Shaoran leaves, she breathes a sigh of relief, certain that this will keep them safe. The cards have all been captured and sealed with Sakura's name. Nothing will go wrong now, Tomoyo is sure.

Four years later, Shaoran returns, holding the same bear he exchanged with Sakura the day he left. Tomoyo sees them embrace, holding each other tightly on the way to school. She feels the first stir of unease, but tells herself that they are still safe. After all, she hasn't had a dream of herself for a while, so it must be alright.

Until Sakura tells her that the cards have changed. Suddenly, they are clear, disappearing and reappearing without the seal of her name, and stronger than before. Keroberos is clueless, and so is Yue. Tomoyo's dreams are empty, and she doesn't know what to do. All she can do is hope and pray that things will not play out the way she has seen in her dreams. She resolves not to tell Sakura. She deserves to be happy, after spending so long waiting for Shaoran.

So Tomoyo stays silent, and waits. She has many secrets, after all. And all will be revealed, in time.

A/N.

This is, while not my first written CLAMP fanfiction, the first one I have published, so please go easy on the criticism (unless constructive). And before I get any reviews saying 'but CCS Tomoyo isn't a dream seer!', I know. But since every other version of her is (as far as we know. There may be more out there that aren't shown) it seems reasonable to assume that this version would be as well.

In regards to the inclusion of other characters, I firmly believe that the 'other workers' Kakei refers to in Gouhou Drug are Touya and Yukito. This is also why the boys know each other and about the shop. I believe that since Sakura gives Yuko her staff (which Maru and Moro thankfully choose _not_ to use as a carpet beater, unlike poor Fai's) it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that anyone with Clow Reed's bloodline, or a personal connection to him, like Yukito (as Yue's host), is automatically able to both see and enter it without having a wish. Since Tomoyo is only their cousin, the blood would be diluted, but she would still have at least _some_ connection to it. This is purely a headcanon though, so don't hate me for it.

As always, thank you very much for reading. If you enjoyed this, or thought it was terrible, please consider leaving a review to let me know. It really does help. Thank you!


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